mehh.
Lim Kan Wei
22/04/1989
Nan Hua Secondary School
Ngee Ann Polytechnic
Enlisting on Sept 11 1130hr.
Thursday, March 13, 2008 @ 2:39 PM
“I like you.”
“Stop joking.”
“… I’m serious. I really like you.”
“Sorry.”
“Nah, it’s okay. I just thought that I should let you know.”
“Hey, you’re a really nice guy, but I’m still not ready for this yet.”
“Yeah, I understand.”
Andy closed the conversation window, sighing in resignation. He then went the bathroom and let the tap run. Letting the chill of the cold water get to his head in order to numb his feelings, for what seemed like an eternity.
“Once again, I’ve gotten rejected. You would have thought that I would be used to it by now,” Andy thought to himself. Turning off the water, he dried his hair and stepped out of the shower. He shivered in the chilly wind. It was already 2.30am.
He opened up the online forum that he often frequents, and said, “Hey guys, I’ve got to go. It’s getting late. All of you try to get some sleep, okay?”
He refreshed the page for new replies and there was one, “Are you alright? I’m really sorry.”
Andy could not think of anything to reply and decided to go offline, at the same time; he could get a tiny little revenge on the girl who rejected him by making her feel guilty.
But try as he might, he just could not fall asleep. He ended up spending the few hours left till dawn playing games that he no longer cared about.
Somehow or rather, the word spread within the forums and the forumers began to tease them at every little opportunity. This caused considerable embarrassment to them, even when they meet up every now and then.
“Hey, I’m really sorry about this.”
“About?”
“All the teasing you’re getting.”
“Oh, it’s okay. I’ll just ignore them.”
Andy wondered if he should be glad that she was taking those in her stride or not. It made him seem insignificant that she did not seem to be affected despite the teasing. The more he dwelled on it, the more he got depressed.
Few days later, she had a talk with Andy.
“Oh my God, I can’t stand it anymore!”
“What happened?”
“Some guy from the forum. I just commented that I’m hungry, and he’s offering to treat me to dinner when he has never even met me before!”
“Ha-ha. Then just reject him?”
“I did. Said that I didn’t want to go out at this time and he offered to order mcdelivery for me.”
“What the… isn’t there a less obvious way of asking for your address?”
“Precisely! He thinks that I’m a three year-old kid or something.”
Somehow or rather, despite the fact that Rena was not strikingly beautiful, she manages to elude a charm that attracts many guys to her. Andy was not an exception. Unknown strangers were not spared as well, just by conversing with her through a forum or MSN. After the rejection, Andy and Rena became less close than before, but Rena would still consult Andy whenever such events happen. And one by one, Andy would help Rena resolve them, by being the bad guy. And indeed, one by one, they left Rena alone and the forum itself as well. Eventually, both of them got used to the procedures to take when some unknown appears to become friendly with Rena. Andy would then talk to the person in the forum with words dripping full of sarcasm that the person would only realize that he's being ridiculed only after everyone was done laughing at him.
Not everyone who caught wind of Andy’s liking for Rena made fun of them though. A few of them tried to give Andy a helping hand. Xavier and Victor, for example, often gave him advice from their perspectives. However, indirectly due to them helping, the friendship between Rena and Xavier became a little strained. Of course, it was at the same time, due to various things that happened that they were not as friendly as before. This, Andy knew fully well, but he was unable to help improve things between them.
This platonic friendship between Andy and Rena carried on for a few months, with Andy’s feelings for her slowly ebbing away. Then, the news broke that Rena patched up with her ex-boyfriend whom she broke up a few months before Andy got to know her. He has met the ex-boyfriend on a few occasions and the impressions he got from those few were not pleasant. He had voiced his concerns out to Rena before, but she insisted that he treats her very nicely, and Andy did not argue any further. Upon hearing the news, Victor was immediately concerned about Andy. But to his surprise, and even Andy’s as well, Andy was not as affected by the news as they both thought he would be. Probably deep inside, he had already given her up. And he knew, somehow, that even if he waited and waited, Rena would never come to fall for him. He loved her, which is without a doubt. But that verb is now a past tense. The feelings he had for her would never resonate as strongly as he had at the start, but they were still present. Whenever Rena gets sad or depressed, Andy will not hesitate to help her, to console her, but he would be only that. He’d only be a listening ear, a confidante to her, and nothing more.
At the same time, due to various happenings occurring in Andy’s life, he got closer to his friends and they began meeting up frequently. And among them, there’s this girl, whom he had never paid much attention to before, as she was not someone to be caught in the limelight, but she would be there, silently standing by the side, supporting her friends. Perhaps it was Andy who first got attracted to her, and perhaps it was him, being too sensitive, but he felt that he was receiving mixed signals from her. That he could not be sure whether the girl has any interest in him or not, but he was sure that even though he does not like her yet, but his feelings for her are gradually beginning to grow. He was in a dilemma, on whether to pursue what could be a wild goose chase, where it ended up in him ‘thinking too much’.
-To be continued-
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