With vanilla salt With vanilla salt With vanilla salt Burning Love
If it's just sweet Then let's put salt on
Because I want you to know more about me More than anyone else, I want to bare my self But I can't do it, I've got nothing for experience It's too frustrating
The more I try to show my weakness The more I act tough in vain and everything goes the other way I'm actually a crybaby Though I've been mum about that
But a love that's just sweet
Is slightly different from what I'm seeking
If I'm told it's white I'd say it's black I can't be honest I say one thing but do another If I'm told, "I love you" I'd say, "I hate you" I'm happy, but what am I saying?
Like putting salt Into sweet vanilla...
When I fall head over heels in love For all the time, 24/7 I think about you continuously It's rather extreme
Can it be, that no one ever thought That I'd be this obsessed with you? Weather forecasts can't tell The whereabouts of love
My memories engraved into the periods of time when we're together Are treasures
If I'm told it's right I'd turn left I can't be honest I say one thing but do another If I'm told, "I love you" I'd say, "I hate you" I'm happy, but what am I saying? Burning Love
Rather than the vanilla that's just sweet The slightly salted kind Makes it sweeter I can't get tired of it...
It's the same with the love that's just sweet The slightly salted kind Shrinks the distance between us And I'm sure That a future more wonderful than today is waiting
If I'm told it's white I'd say it's black I can't be honest I say one thing but do another If I'm told, "I love you" I'd say, "I hate you" I'm happy, but what am I saying?
If it's just sweet Then let's put salt on
With vanilla salt With vanilla salt With vanilla salt With vanilla salt
think i'm having a fever now. body's burning up like no tomorrow. zz.
but surprisingly, it's been a while since the last i got sick. well, slightly later than usual, that is.
i apologise in advance cos i think i'm going to type incoherently. can't think properly with my head throbbing madly.
and to think that i actually took AR lab test under this condition. -.- though i don't really think it mattered. didn't have enough time to finish, partly cos of the 15 minutes wasted at the beginning of the test thanks to the buggy serial interfaces of the routers. main thing is for some reason or another, i couldn't get to ping all the interfaces when i am absolutely certain that i redistributed the routes correctly. then i wasted more time troubleshooting to no avail. =/ seriously the lousiest i've ever done for my lab tests in all 3 years. zz.
anyway, i'm a little.. pissed over myself being at a loss of words whenever.. =/ nvm. i can talk shit, i can be humorous, i can entertain when i'm with others, but i get tongue-tied whenever it matters the most. and what's the point in being able to type long essays in blogs when i can't express myself well enough to the people who matters the most. and yet the most maddening fact is that i have no one to blame but myself.
rawrrh. next topic~
i've been considering to go aussie for further studies after ns, but given current situation, it seems more and more likely that i won't be able to go.. or rather, i won't want to go.. =/ but i guess i'll reconsider again when the time comes. especially in terms of finances. don't think it's advisable to throw near 30 to 50k worth of tuition fees + living expenses for my studies when it's more important to have some cash at hand just in case. studying in SIM will be cheaper by almost half, at the very least.
rahhh. forget it. i shall end here. stupid fever. zz.
and here's something for laughs.
might take a moment to understand, but once you do, it's hilarious. LOL!
If you're not paying attention, be prepared for a poking attack from my fingers I'm little, but I'll squish you; you're as tiny as a flea to me
What I want is a plastic heart (plus, plus, but it's a minus) But that's boring; when I'd notice it, I'd have won against you
Love is something that's bittersweet Simple and clear yet complex and strange stuff I'm only worrying about things that don't matter How does it feel? It feels like that You're gentle and sincere yet eccentric I pretend to be strong all over and compete against you Just by being honest, it's so stimulating and I feel dizzy I get hurt, I hurt you, in a preparation of pure feelings
If I polish myself, I'll still shine; limits don't exist Even if I'm little, there's something that I can't lose to anyone at
Endure it until I get closer to you (endure it, endure it, patience is important) If you get any closer to me, I'll crack
People are kind and stimulating Refreshing fellows who suffer hardships Even when they want to cry, they grin from ear to ear How does it feel? It feels like a loss You're brilliant and totally active I mount surprise attacks on you with a bold attitude to get my revenge Just by going straight ahead, I'm driven by anxiety and I feel nervous In my head, there's always a pre-parade of pure feelings all by myself
Love is something that's bittersweet Simple and clear yet complex and strange stuff I'm only worrying about things that don't matter How does it feel? It feels like that You're gentle and sincere yet eccentric I pretend to be strong all over and compete against you Just by being honest, it's so stimulating and I feel dizzy I get hurt, I hurt you, in a preparation of pure feelings In my head, there's always a pre-parade of pure feelings all by myself
so much so that one who can't be bothered with relationships, and don't understand how someone can fall for another person will actually end up putting emo lyrics in his msn personal message.
not a very convincing example, but it's significant enough when you actually know the person.
okay, as much as i've seen, i can't deny that people can change for love, but i don't think i've that happen to me yet. or maybe i'm just oblivious to my change or that i'm only changing gradually that no one seem to be able to notice.
but anyway, that's not what i wanted to blog about.
i've been feeling contradictory these days, which isn't really uncommon for me. =/ that i wish for things to stay the way they are, in terms of my relationships with the people around me. but part of me wishes for things to be different. i can't say how, but just.. different. probably for things to be a lot more simple than how it is right now. it's tiring when you go out with a bunch of friends and you actually have to keep thinking of what to say and what not to say, to build up a facade and to pretend that you're enjoying the conversation when you're not.
it's hypocritical of me, yes. but am i supposed to just be blunt and cause conflicts? you can call me a coward and i won't be able to refute the accusation, seeing how i've always dealt with things, especially in relationships. i've always this hidden fear of letting people around me know about my true self, hence i always seem to be infallible - that i can laugh off just about any disappointments, that i am very knowledgable, that i'm matured. but i'm just as strong as any average person. at most, i can think a little more logical than the average person and i can play around with words to guise my intents, but in the end, it only serves for me to build up the walls around me higher and higher.
people who always hang around with me, can roughly tell how i behave, but i doubt anyone of them is able to tell me how i feel. keke. well, that's pretty sad in a way. but i've lived with it for 19 years, no? guess i can survive with that. =/
and i want to complain. it is seriously stupid when you work with a bunch of people for group work, then someone is busy surfing net, talking cock, etc while you're sitting beside, figuring out how to solve the problems, following the instructions. that itself is alright, but then it is his turn to do his part, you ask him to do, and he has the cheek to ask what command? so you get irritated and yell at him, 'read the fucking paper la!' then he will reply, 'you tell me faster la.', then you keep silent and he begins flipping the pages and finally ask 'which step?'. so you relent and tell him in order to get things done faster. -.-
then now that the tests are coming and he begins to get all nervous about it and asks for the case studies' configurations and when are the tests held on. good job eh.
ah fuck it. i'm bitching so much that i already feel like i'm one myself.
and yeah, these are the few reasons that i wish for things to change. or else i think i'll just snap and.. do something reckless, probably. who knows.
all i can do is to steal glances at you and hope to catch a glimpse of your smile. for it is the meal for my soul. and how i wish i could do so much more. yet the time comes and my feet go cold.
if only i am closer to you a little more. to treat you more preciously than gold. when things don't go well for you anymore. do know that my hand is here for you to hold.
lack of idea and i just burped, hence the title. -.-
anyway, school has started for about a month le. pretty funny when i thought of what happened.
second week or something, me and the guys were at the atrium, then the deejays from 883 FM 'volunteered' us into their campus reporter thing. don't think anyone of us got in, but it was exciting to actually take part in the first place. though quite involuntarily. =//
had to hold this mike attached to a recorder one deejay was holding then i've to read out this paragraph asking people to support me into the mike while the other took photos. -.-
then subsequently, tuesday ah. LOL. went to eat sakae at wheelock. sibei sian. wanted to find sushi kikuzawa but i forgot where was it le. =// then we kena filmed.. but okay la, admittedly the focus weren't us, but hey, sama la. =x i think it's for some documentary about sakae, then just nice we had lots of shit to clear on our table. so they asked if they could shoot one of the staff clearing our table. so yeahh..
help me do, thanks. i just need about 15 odd more to get 50 respondents.
keke. AR lab test tml.. should be pretty simple. VLSM seems to be so easy, now that i'm quite familiar with it. =//
but WLT. kena fucked, seriously. think i've to borrow laptop from the tech to do my lab test if one comes. pcmcia is a bitch~~ !! they should just upgrade. -.-
kaes.. not in the mood to make those lengthy rants. so that's all for today. nyaa nyaa.
hmm.. it's getting incredibly difficult not to be two-faced in the slightest as time goes by..
friend says a joke, and you don't think it's funny at all, but you laugh anyway.. friend talks bad about someone you feel okay about, but you agree anyway.. you have to hang out with someone that gets more and more irritating as time goes by, but you still do anyway.
blah blah blah, so on and so forth..
then you'll eventually meet people that talks bad about everyone behind their backs, apart from those in front of them, obviously. politics is fun when you're not involved in it. that's why you'll see so many people commenting about the current US elections, but when you get more and more involved, it's just plain tiring.
why can't things be more simple, you'll find yourself thinking, and some other smart aleck voice in your head saying that that's just how life is.
and also, when you see someone's feeling down, and you want to comfort the person, you actually end up finding yourself having nothing to say but the most meaningless of 'cheer up', 'don't be sad anymore', etc. wonder if anyone would appreciate those comments which essentially are just spoken for the sake of saying instead of being genuinely concerned and trying to help. and in the end, you can only resort to standing beside the person, hoping that the person will open up and talk to you about it.
it's pretty stupid that you often get people telling you about their matters when you don't want to listen, and yet when those that you sincerely want to listen and help, they will shut off their feelings towards you.
it's also quite vexing when you are in a group of friends, but eventually you realise that you don't really belong there. you are there, but you are not part of them, in other words.
who can you really count on, when you need them the most?
